The Ugly Man’s Guide To Getting Laid – Matthew Doeing

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The Ugly Man’s Guide to Getting Laid by Matthew Doeing

In the realm of dating and relationships, much is written about attractiveness, charm, and the traditional attributes that often draw potential partners together. However, Matthew Doeing flips this narrative on its head in “The Ugly Man’s Guide to Getting Laid.” His guide aims to empower men who may not fit conventional standards of attractiveness by emphasizing the importance of confidence, social skills, and authentic interactions.

Doeing’s perspective encourages readers to rethink their approach to dating, provide effective strategies for engagement, and promote self-improvement in various forms. This guide celebrates the idea that success in romance is not solely determined by looks, but rather by one’s ability to connect, communicate, and resonate emotionally with potential partners. In this article, we will explore key techniques for approaching women, building confidence, effective conversation starters, and much more, offering a roadmap for men ready to take their dating game to the next level.

Key Techniques for Approaching Women

The initial approach to a woman can seem daunting, akin to preparing to dive into an icy pool. Much like the anticipation of that first plunge, the fears and doubts that arise can hinder action. Yet, it’s essential to remember that with the right technique, the anxiety can dissipate into exhilaration. Key techniques can equip men with the tools to overcome their hesitation and engage with women meaningfully.

Summary of Techniques:

• Confidence and Body Language: Your first impression counts. Confident body language good posture, steady eye contact, and a genuine smile sets the stage for a successful interaction. It’s like the opening note of a symphony if it resonates well, the audience is instantly captivated.
• Appropriate Openers: Initiating conversation with light-hearted comments about your shared surroundings can effectively break the ice. Think of it as a magician’s warm-up trick something simple that prepares the audience for the main event.
• Active Listening: Engaging in a manner that conveys genuine interest in what she says is critical. It demonstrates that you value her thoughts and perspectives. Just as in any effective dialogue, listening fosters a sense of connection, akin to the common thread of a weaving tapestry.
• Compliments Beyond Appearance: Sincere compliments that focus on personality traits, intelligence, or style resonate more profoundly than surface-level observations. This is analogous to discovering a hidden gem; it’s the surprise beneath that captures attention.

With these techniques, the task of approaching women transforms from a daunting endeavor into an accessible, enjoyable interaction.

Strategies for Initial Engagement

Initiating a conversation with a woman can feel akin to stepping into the spotlight on a stage. The pressure to perform well often leads to anxiety and self-doubt. However, employing thoughtful strategies can ease this transition and create a more inviting atmosphere for both parties.

1. Confident Body Language: Stand tall, make eye contact, and smile genuinely. This nonverbal communication conveys openness and friendliness, similar to welcoming a friend into your home.
2. Start with Context: Use your surroundings as conversation starters. For example, if you’re at a coffee shop, comment on the ambiance or the menu. Just like seasoning enhances a dish, a relevant comment sets a flavorful foundation for the dialogue.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking yes or no questions, pose open ones that require elaboration. For instance, instead of saying, “Do you like this place?” opt for, “What do you enjoy most about this café?” This not only keeps the conversation flowing but also encourages her to share more.
4. Engage in Active Listening: Use verbal and nonverbal cues to show engagement. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and responding to her points with empathy keep the conversation dynamic it’s like a dance where both partners must communicate through movement and rhythm.
5. Respect Boundaries: Be mindful of her comfort levels by respecting personal space. An approach that showcases consideration creates a safe interaction, akin to laying down a welcome mat at the door of your heart.

By mastering these initial engagement strategies, men can transform their interactions into meaningful connections, moving from awkwardness to comfort with ease.

Building Confidence in Social Settings

Building confidence during social interactions is vital for successful engagement with women. It is all about establishing self-assuredness and radiating positivity essential traits that can significantly influence romantic pursuits.

1. Positive Mindset: Confidence stems from within. Cultivating a positive self-image by focusing on your strengths and past achievements can help rewire your mindset. Think of it as fitting a new lens into a camera suddenly, the world appears sharper, brighter, and clearer.
2. Tailored Physical Appearance: Taking care of your physical appearance is equally important. Grooming and dressing well can bolster your self-esteem and foster a more favorable perception from others. Much like painting a room a fresh color, a small change can create an inviting ambiance.
3. Preparation for Conversations: Consider possible conversation topics or anecdotes before entering social settings. This strategic prep work can alleviate the anxiety of being caught off guard, like having spare batteries ready before a hike.
4. Choosing the Right Places: Be intentional about the social venues you frequent. Environments that align with your interests increase the chances of meeting like-minded individuals. Think of it as finding the right fishing hole where the fish are biting.
5. Immediate Action: Practice the “three-second rule” a mental trigger to approach someone as soon as you feel the urge. Hesitating often leads to overthinking a crippling fog that can obscure your way forward.

By adopting these confidence-building techniques, men can foster not only self-assurance but also an inviting energy that draws others in.

Effective Conversation Starters

Engaging someone in conversation often comes down to choosing the right opener. Much like selecting the perfect bait for fishing, the opener can either attract or repel interest. Here are effective conversation starters that facilitate engagement with women.

1. Sincere Compliments: Offer a genuine compliment that extends beyond the typical physical appearance remarks. Complimenting her taste in music, a unique style choice, or her perspective on a topic highlights your attentiveness and shows appreciation for her individuality.
2. Comment on a Shared Experience: Use your mutual environment as a springboard for discussion. For instance, if you’re at a concert, you might say, “This band has such great energy! What’s your favorite song of theirs?” This shared context creates an immediate connection.
3. Unique Questions: Ask intriguing or unconventional questions that prompt thoughtful responses. For instance, “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?” can inspire lively conversation and reveal personal values.
4. Cultural References: Referencing a popular movie, TV show, or book can serve as a relatable topic that immediately grabs attention. This is similar to using a common language to bridge communication gaps, establishing a foundation for deeper dialogue.
5. Humor: Incorporating light humor can effectively lower barriers and make the conversation more enjoyable. A clever observation or a playful quip creates an inviting atmosphere, similar to a warm campfire gathering friends around.

By employing these effective conversation starters, men can transform an awkward interaction into a memorable exchange, fostering a connection that might lead to more.

Essential Skills for Attracting Women

Attracting women requires a blend of skills and qualities that extend beyond simple charm or superficial appeal. Cultivating these essential skills can help individuals resonate with and engage potential partners more effectively.

Summary of Essential Skills:

• Emotional Intelligence: The ability to read and respond to emotional cues creates a deep sense of connection and understanding. Emotional intelligence functions as the compass that guides interactions toward a more meaningful trajectory.
• Active Engagement: Listening actively and engaging sincerely with a woman fosters intimacy and trust, reinforcing that you genuinely care about her thoughts and feelings. This level of engagement is the key to unlocking deeper conversations.
• Genuine Interest: Expressing authentic curiosity about her experiences, opinions, and passions demonstrates care and leads to meaningful connections. Think of it as exploring a rich, uncharted territory together.
• Adaptability: Being able to adjust your approach depending on the context and the person helps you stay relevant and engaging. Just as a skilled chef adjusts spices for different dishes, adapting your approach can yield varied results depending on the interaction.

By honing these skills, men can become more adept at attracting women and establishing rewarding relationships.

Body Language Tips That Attract

Understanding body language is an essential element in the game of attraction. It conveys messages often more powerfully than words alone. The nuances of body language can either invite intimacy or create barriers here are key body language tips to attract women.

1. Smile Genuinely: A warm smile can break down walls and invite connection. It’s the universal sign of friendliness that can turn a stranger’s frown into a smile.
2. Maintain Eye Contact: Appropriate eye contact signifies interest and attention. Striking the right balance without staring too intensely reflects confidence. It’s akin to a dance; both partners must find their rhythm.
3. Lean In: Inviting closeness by leaning in during conversation demonstrates attentiveness and interest. This subtle gesture can create an intimate feeling, reinforcing your engagement in the discussion.
4. Mirroring Techniques: Subtly mimicking her body language creates rapport and a sense of familiarity. This practice evokes a feeling of connection, like finding a kindred spirit in a crowded room.
5. Open Stance: Avoid closed-off postures such as crossing arms or legs. An open stance conveys receptivity and warmth, much like an open door inviting guests inside your home.
6. Respect Personal Space: Every person has a different comfort level regarding personal space. Gauge her signals and adjust your distance as necessary; this respect fosters trust.

Through the application of these body language cues, men can craft interactions that radiate attraction and warmth, engaging women on a deeper, nonverbal level.

Understanding Female Psychology

Grasping the basics of female psychology is essential for effectively navigating the dating landscape. This understanding enables men to create authentic connections and foster relationships that resonate on multiple levels.

1. Emotional Connection: Women often prioritize emotional ties in relationships. Building rapport through shared experiences, empathetic listening, and vulnerability can foster deeper connections. Think of it as creating a fabric, interwoven with threads of understanding.
2. Communication Style: Women typically value open communication, which can manifest through sharing feelings and thoughts. Engaging in dialogues that promote transparency helps solidify relationships. This emphasis on communication can be seen as an invitation to explore each other’s inner worlds.
3. Social Dynamics: Women may be keenly aware of social dynamics and often appreciate authenticity in communication. Understanding the subtleties of social interactions offers insights into how to approach conversations and connections with genuine intention.
4. Value Empathy: Empathy plays a critical role in establishing trust. Being able to step into her shoes and understand her perspective fosters a sense of safety and inclusivity within the relationship.
5. Individuality: Each woman is unique, with her own preferences, desires, and fears. Recognizing this individuality fosters respect and admiration, supporting the development of more meaningful connections.

By investing time in understanding female psychology, men can enhance their ability to connect and engage with women, ultimately leading to deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

Creating Emotional Connection

Creating an emotional connection is a fundamental aspect of successful dating. Establishing this deep bond goes beyond surface-level attraction; it involves fostering intimacy through shared experiences and genuine interactions.

1. Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Instead of sticking to small talk, ask questions that encourage her to share her passions, dreams, and challenges. This is likened to planting seeds of conversation that can bloom into a vibrant dialogue.
2. Show Vulnerability: Sharing your own experiences, fears, and aspirations enables vulnerability, inviting her to reciprocate. Much like opening up the pages of a book, this exchange allows for deeper understanding.
3. Shared Experiences: Partake in activities together that resonate with both of you whether it’s a hobby, sport, or joint volunteer work. These experiences are the bricks and mortar of a strong emotional foundation.
4. Practice Gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for her thoughts and contributions, reinforcing her value. This is akin to watering the garden of your relationship, allowing it to flourish.
5. Create Rituals: Build rituals that celebrate your time together, whether weekly coffee dates or evening walks. These rituals create touchpoints that solidify your emotional connection.

By intentionally cultivating emotional bonds, men can significantly enhance the quality of their relationships and increase their chances of success in dating.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Navigating the dating landscape is not without its challenges. Being aware of and avoiding common pitfalls can help steer individuals toward positive experiences, ensuring fruitful interactions.

Summary of Common Pitfalls:

• Rushing the Relationship: Avoid pushing for intensity too soon; nurture the relationship organically instead.
• Closed-Off Behavior: Presenting yourself as stoic can hinder emotional intimacy; openness encourages connection.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Perfection isn’t achievable. Maintain realistic views of what relationships and partners entail.
• Not Listening Actively: A conversation should feature two active participants. Dominating dialogue creates discomfort.
• Over-Reliance on Technology: Engaging with devices during a date conveys disinterest. Stay present and attentive to foster connection.

Mistakes to Avoid When Meeting Women

For many, meeting women can resemble walking a tightrope; one misstep may threaten the balance. Recognizing mistakes that often accompany first-time interactions can lay the groundwork for smoother engagements in the future.

1. Prejudging Her Interests: Assuming interests based on stereotypes rather than asking her directly can lead to misunderstandings. Approach with an open mind, anticipating surprises.
2. Focusing Solely on Physical Attributes: While attraction plays a role, fixating only on physical appearances may lead to shallow connections. Acknowledge her personality, intelligence, and spirit.
3. Discussing Ex-Partners: Bringing up past relationships can create discomfort. Keep the focus on the present; it enhances the quality of conversation.
4. Excessively Flirting: Balancing flirtation with sincerity is essential. Overdoing flirtation may come across as insincerity or desperation.
5. Not Being Yourself: Trying to impress by presenting a façade may work temporarily but will ultimately backfire. Authenticity resonates deeper than polished performances.
6. Ignoring Her Signals: Pay attention to her body language and tone; both can indicate whether she is interested. Awareness helps navigate communication.

By avoiding these common mistakes, men can enhance their appeal, create more fulfilling relationships, and increase their chances of success.

Recognizing and Overcoming Rejection

The experience of rejection is universally relatable, yet the emotional aftermath is often personal. Learning to recognize and process rejection healthily transforms an otherwise painful experience into one of growth.

1. Accepting Your Feelings: When faced with rejection, it’s normal to feel hurt or disappointed. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment as a crucial step toward healing.
2. Distinguishing Between Personal Failure and External Factors: Recognize that rejection often reflects external circumstances rather than an indictment of your worth. Understanding this distinction fosters resilience.
3. Gaining Perspective: Reflecting on the experience can provide clarity regarding areas of personal growth. Consider it an opportunity rather than a setback.
4. Continuing Forward: Engage in new experiences and social settings after rejection. Repeated exposure allows for acclimatization to the idea of rejection and builds confidence over time.
5. Understanding the Importance of Authenticity: Rejection based on a lack of appreciation for your true self clarifies the need for honesty in relationships. Use rejection as a guide to refine your dating approach.

By mastering the art of recognizing and overcoming rejection, men can cultivate resilience, equipping themselves for future successes in dating.

The Importance of Authenticity in Dating

Remaining authentic in dating is a cornerstone principle that enhances trust and fosters long-lasting connections. Embracing one’s true self serves not only as a protective measure but also as an attractive quality.

1. Building Trust: Authentic interactions promote transparency, which helps foster trust. Just as a sturdy bridge relies on solid foundations, trust is built through consistency and honesty.
2. Encouraging Open Communication: Authenticity creates space for honest discussions about feelings and expectations. This dialogue minimizes misunderstandings and nurtures the relationship.
3. Fostering Deeper Connections: When you reveal your genuine self, deeper connections can blossom. Such connections resemble sturdy roots of a tree; they provide stability and nourishment for growth.
4. Attracting Compatible Partners: Being true to oneself ensures that the right individuals are drawn toward you. Authenticity sifts through superficial aspects while highlighting shared values.
5. Prioritizing Self-Growth: Embracing authenticity involves recognizing areas for growth and self-improvement. Individuals become more attractive as they hone their unique qualities.

By prioritizing authenticity in dating, individuals build healthier relationships with meaningful foundations that endure the test of time.

Advanced Techniques for Success

As one becomes more adept at navigating the dating landscape, advanced techniques can elevate interactions to a level of engagement that captivates and intrigues.

Summary of Advanced Techniques:

• Mastering Flirting and Foreplay: Building anticipation through playful teasing and subtle gestures can enhance romantic interactions, creating a flourish that captivates interest.
• Transitioning from Conversation to Connection: Recognizing moments to deepen engagement transforms initial discussions into meaningful exchanges.

Mastering Flirting and Foreplay

Flirting and foreplay are integral components of romantic interaction, setting the stage for deeper intimacy. Mastering these techniques involves combining confidence, playful energy, and curiosity.

1. Demonstrating Confidence: Confidence is magnetic; it draws others nearer and invites interest. Focus on cultivating an assertive and engaging presence that encourages attraction.
2. Utilizing Playful Teasing: Light-hearted teasing adds humor and intrigue to interactions. A well-timed playful jibe can create a bonding experience, igniting the spark of flirtation.
3. Exploring Sensual Touch: Use delicate gestures to explore physical connection. Gradually increasing intimacy through touch cultivates excitement and anticipation.
4. Employing Storytelling: Share engaging and relatable stories to illustrate your experiences. Compelling narratives evoke emotion and connection, heightening engagement.
5. Establishing Emotional Zones: Create an environment conducive to intimacy by ensuring privacy, warmth, and mutual comfort. Much like setting a romantic table, the ambiance contributes to attraction.

Through the application of these advanced techniques, men can navigate the complexities of romantic attraction with finesse.

Transitioning from Conversation to Connection

The ability to transition from surface-level chats to profound emotional connections is a hallmark of effective communication. This skill is fundamental in forming meaningful bonds, and here are ways to facilitate this transition.

1. Recognize Natural Progressions in Conversation: Identifying when to move from casual interactions to deeper discussions can guide where to direct dialogue. Listen for cues that point toward shared experiences or emotional topics.
2. Ask Thoughtful, Open-Ended Questions: Use questions designed to elicit elaboration on experiences or beliefs. This encourages deeper sharing and vulnerability, akin to peeling layers off an onion, revealing the core.
3. Share Authentic Personal Experiences: Be willing to open up about your life. Sharing personal stories can invite her to reciprocate, establishing a mutual understanding essential for connection.
4. Embrace Vulnerability: Fostering a space where both parties can share insecurities creates a sense of safety in the conversation. Vulnerability strengthens bonds; much like two trees leaning on one another for support.
5. Celebrate Small Moments: Highlighting the enjoyable moments in conversation reinforces the emotional connection. Celebrate laughter, shared interests, and even simple gestures of empathy for a fulfilling exchange.

By consciously facilitating the transition from conversation to connection, men can deepen their relationships, strengthen their emotional bonds, and enhance their romantic pursuits.

Utilizing Humor to Build Rapport

Harnessing humor in interactions serves as an exceptional tool to foster rapport and emotional connection. Humor lightens the mood and creates an inviting atmosphere that facilitates genuine dialogue.

1. Understand Different Types of Humor: Familiarize yourself with various humor styles pun, wit, observational humor, and self-deprecation and adapt your approach accordingly. Humor can break down barriers like a warm fire inviting guests to gather.
2. Start with Light Humor: Initiate conversations with light-hearted jokes or playful banter, easing the mood. Think of it as casting a fishing line into calm waters; it invites a gentle interaction.
3. Be Aware of Responses: Pay attention to her laughter or expressions; these cues guide you in determining whether your humor resonates. Adjust your approach based on her reactions, as laughter is a two-way street.
4. Use Humor to Address Awkwardness: Leverage humor to defuse awkward moments during conversations. It can ease tension and make both parties feel more comfortable and engaged.
5. Cultural Sensitivity: Ensure that humor is appropriate for the context and audience, as misunderstandings can occur. Respect cultural differences enhances rapport-building efforts while avoiding potential faux pas.

Utilizing humor effectively cultivates rapport, enhances communication, and fosters enjoyable interactions between men and women.

Practical Applications

Implementing the strategies gleaned from “The Ugly Man’s Guide to Getting Laid” involves practical applications that can transform theory into reality. Test-driving techniques in real-life scenarios enhances both skills and confidence.

Summary of Practical Applications:

• Approaching Women in Social Gatherings: Practice breaking the ice effectively at parties or bars, guiding conversations toward engaging topics.
• Building Relationships: Establish connections with new acquaintances by incorporating emotional intelligence and empathetic listening during conversations.

Scenarios for Practicing Techniques

To ensure the successful application of dating strategies, consider various scenarios where these techniques can be practiced effectively.

1. Social Events and Gatherings: Approach friends or acquaintances to practice initiating casual conversations. Use this setting to fine-tune openers and gauge reactions in a friendly environment.
2. Networking Events: Participate in networking events where professional interactions can translate into dating opportunities. This setting allows for practicing conversational strategies in a less pressured atmosphere.
3. Public Gatherings: Utilize public spaces such as cafes or parks to approach and engage with strangers. Employ conversation starters while adapting body language and active listening skills.
4. Collaborative Activities: Join hobby classes or group activities that encourage interaction, providing opportunities to apply techniques while engaging with others who share your interests.
5. Volunteering: Engage in volunteer opportunities where your interactions with fellow volunteers can serve as practice for dating techniques while bonding over shared causes.

By immersing oneself in diverse scenarios for practice, men can refine their engagement skills, increase their confidence, and seamlessly translate learned techniques into real-world interactions.

How to Capture Contact Information

Successfully capturing contact information involves approaching the exchange with sensitivity and confidence. Here are techniques for facilitating this process seamlessly.

1. Create a Natural Transition: Lead conversations in a direction that naturally invites the exchange of contact information. Phrases like, “I’d love to continue this conversation over coffee; what’s your number?” offer an effortless shift.
2. Use Technology: Leverage tools like social media or messaging apps to maintain contact without needing a phone number. Sending a friend request can serve as a digital handshake.
3. Engagement Before Exchange: Ensure that genuine rapport has been established before requesting contact information. This ensures that the request feels organic rather than transactional.
4. Follow Up Promptly: Once contact information has been exchanged, follow up within a couple of days. Send a message referencing your previous conversation, reinforcing the connection made.
5. Respect Privacy: Understand when someone may not be ready to share their contact information and respect that choice. A gracious exit reinforces an understanding approach.

By applying these techniques, men can effectively capture and maintain contact information, facilitating future interactions and building connections.

Real-Life Success Stories and Outcomes

The principles outlined in “The Ugly Man’s Guide to Getting Laid” can lead to tangible successes in various real-life situations. Here are some illustrative success stories that exemplify the application of these concepts.

1. At a Coffee Shop: A man practiced the art of observation by noticing a woman reading his favorite book. He initiated a conversation about the plot and, by openly sharing his thoughts, established common ground. By the end of their chat, they exchanged phone numbers, paving the way for future encounters.
2. Participating in a Workshop: A young man who attended a cooking class showcased his skills by engaging in light-hearted banter with a fellow participant. He utilized humor and opened up about culinary disasters, creating a relaxed atmosphere. This authentic interaction culminated in exchanged contact details and an invitation to cook together.
3. Networking Event: A man approached an acquaintance at a professional gathering and struck up a conversation about their projects. By integrating active listening and empathic responses, they built a genuine rapport. As the interaction progressed, the man naturally suggested connecting on LinkedIn, successfully expanding his network.

These outcomes shed light on the effectiveness of the strategies presented in the guide, demonstrating that individuals can extract meaningful connections from everyday interactions when they apply the techniques.

Resources for Further Learning

When seeking to enhance dating skills and understanding of interpersonal relationships, it’s essential to leverage various resources available for further learning.

Summary of Resources:

• Books on Relationships and Social Skills: Titles focusing on dating psychology offer valuable insights into attraction examples include “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty” by Mark Manson.
• Online Courses: Platforms such as Udemy or Coursera provide courses on effective communication and building confidence, enhancing interpersonal skills.
• Dating Blogs and Articles: Websites such as eNotAlone and The Good Men Project offer extensive articles and advice on navigating the dating landscape.

Recommended Reading and Materials

To further empower individuals in their dating journeys, consider diving into these recommended books that resonate with the themes of attraction, confidence, and interpersonal engagement.

1. “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene: Explores historical seducers and offers techniques to wield charm.
2. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: Discusses attachment styles in relationships and implications for dating.

Online Communities and Support Networks

Joining online communities provides valuable opportunities for discussion, shared experiences, and support. Engage in platforms focused on dating and relationships, such as Reddit’s r/dating_advice or specific forums where individuals share their stories, challenges, and successes.

Workshops and Courses for Continued Development

Participate in workshops and courses designed to improve social skills and enhance emotional intelligence. Numerous organizations offer sessions on communication skills, confidence building, and relational dynamics tools vital for succeeding in the dating world.

1. National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE): Provides resources geared towards improving communication for educators and non-educators alike.
2. Skillshare: Hosts workshops on various aspects of personal development, including social dynamics and relationship-building.

When combined, these resources can significantly bolster one’s confidence and skills, enhancing dating experiences and interpersonal connections.

Conclusion

Throughout this comprehensive exploration of “The Ugly Man’s Guide to Getting Laid,” numerous techniques and strategies have been outlined to empower men to navigate the often-treacherous dating landscape. By mastering the art of approaching women with confidence, engaging in meaningful conversations, and understanding the psychology of attraction, men can cultivate rewarding relationships irrespective of their looks. Authenticity, empathy, and humor serve as guiding principles, fostering deep emotional connections that transcend superficial qualities. Ultimately, the pursuit of love and companionship is less about conforming to societal standards and more about embracing individuality, honing relational skills, and establishing genuine connections. Armed with these insights and practical techniques, men can confidently embark on their journey towards romantic success.

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